What you don't want to know about Kimmie ;-)

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Hot Springs, AR, United States
I'm engaged to the love of my life and we both just happen to be spankos. I met him on Fetlife and have been with him since August 5, 2010. Spankings are a pretty regular thing for me these days! We've made a few videos which are available on Spankingtube. We enjoyed making them and we hope to make more someday! Anyhow, I love being spanked (well, sometimes I don't...depends on why I'm getting spanked)!! I am a Senior Psychology major and plan to get my Master's Degree someday! I also love to write short stories and poetry. Dance in the rain. Listen to music, Play around on the internet, Blog, and most importantly, have fun! kinkylynxproductions@gmail.com

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Beware: negativity ensues

So. I'm young and semi-new to the scene, I'm here to learn and to grow, and this is how my mind works and this is not meant to offend anybody whatsoever, so please bear with me. 

I watch videos. Spanking videos. I see all of these models. Young, beautiful, skinny, flawless models. I have a spanking fetish. I am not beautiful, skinny and flawless. I am real. I am a person. I consider myself to be cute, if that counts for anything at all. Still though, I am not these models. Is it true that Tops really simply just want someone who is just as passionate about this lifestyle as they are (and not just a pretty bare ass)? Do they really not care about looks? I mean, c'mon what Top wouldn't want to spank all of those lovely spanking models? 

Is it true that if I decide to attend a spanking party that I will be completely welcomed? I mean, is it possible that every single person attending will truly want me there? Okay, I realize that every single person probably won't. See, I don't want someone to be nice to my face and then talk poorly about me behind my back. I can't stand fakes. Yet...I don't want to know if someone doesn't like me either. Hm...makes total sense to me?! 

I've been told that I should consider going to a small party first...before even attempting to go to a larger one (such as All-State). I would love to do that but I'd have to make sure that some of my longer-term online friends were going to be there as well...for comforts sake. I'd like to feel protected. I do know a couple of people that would do that for me and I am very thankful for that. 

Basically, I just want to ask for anybody's opinion on what I should expect at these parties, what kind of caution should I take, what I should do in an uncomfortable situation (or if I panic), what kind of rules everyone is expected to follow, etc.? Any comforting, self-esteem raising advice is more than welcome!  

If you're still reading this and not shaking your head in disgust, thank you! :)



Aslyn said...

Okay, this is definitely one that I feel the need to address, particularly given that I'm a top myself, so I have experience with this.

First off, you'll discover that spanking films and media naturally employ women that society considers the female 'ideal' as a result of body shape - so, invariably, they're all supposed to be good looking. That's all very well and good, but what such things don't take into account is the other aspects involved in a DD relationship: and the primary aspect there is personality. Spanking models don't have to be particularly nice people, or even have an appropriate mindset for such a relationship - as long as they can take a spanking and look good doing it, that's all that matters.

However, as a top that doesn't work in spanking media, invariably my preferences are a little broader. I'd be lying if I said I didn't like the idea of spanking someone that looked 'perfect', but that's not all there is to a DD relationship. First and foremost, my partner/spankee would have to be someone I could get along with on a personal level - as such, they could be the most attractive person on the planet, and I wouldn't spank them if I found we didn't connect in some way above and beyond the spanking preferences. Personality and lifestyle choices MATTER.

I've read quite a lot of accounts with regards to spanking parties where the models are arrogant and very exclusive by nature just because they're professionals - and that alone would make me want to avoid them as possible relationship material. Sure, every top can well understand the idea that arrogance and a bad attitude makes for good spanking opportunity, but from my perspective, the idea about using spanking to change a person dictates that they WANT to change that part of themselves. If I'm in a relationship and don't like something about my partner, that's no reason for me to try to change them because I want to. If they want to change, then that's different. But spanking someone because they possess a quality they like but you don't? That's abuse, plain and simple.

At the end of the day, I want someone I can connect with - if I don't click with a person, then what's the point? Spanking merely constitutes part of a relationship - and I, for one, would never spank someone I didn't trust or didn't care about, because that's a massive part of my approach to such matters. So you can parade as many spanking models around as you like, and I wouldn't touch any of them unless I got to know them first, and found I liked them. Looks aren't everything, Kim - as with all things, they're but components of a greater whole. I'd as soon as form a relationship with someone that was physically ugly but had a personality and way about them that I happen to click with that the other way around.

Don't get me wrong - I want someone that can complement the DD part of my lifestyle, but invariably, I don't want someone just because they can do that.

Anonymous said...

Show me.
Post a pic of your butt on this blog and I'll tell you if I'd spank it :)

MacGirl said...

I am too a young person new to the spanking scene. I don't plan on going to any parties but I am hopefully meeting up with a guy I met on the internet!
I hope things go ok!


Thomas_III said...

I highly recommend going to a party, even a large party like Texas Allstate (which I'll be attending in the coming year). We are an open and funloving bunch, and we are of all shapes and sizes. When I'm at a party, it truly doesn't matter what age, shape or size woman will find her way across my lap. True, every man has a preference, but these come secondary to the actual act of spanking. Trust me, you will find PLENTY of Tops willing to give you a good spanking, if you give them the chance.

Jon said...

I saw your post and it's interesting because I'm in the process of doing a bunch of spanking videos right now and I'm using girls that look like "real girls." The models I'm using run a range from thinner to thicker but I'm not really looking for the super skinny model type. If you are interested I would be happy to send you some videos.

Thomas_III said...

As a quick note to macgirl, be sure that you play it safe when meeting someone for the first time. That is always a big step, and a dangerous one, particularly for newbies. Have a safecall, and be ready to call it quits if it feels even the LEAST bit wrong.

dixiedarling said...

I gotta say ... I had a ton of those same feelings because my first experience was in watching movies because I just didn't have access to a spanker when I started to accept that this lifestyle was a part of who I am as a person.

I remember being nervous as hell at my first party even the small one (can't remember if i told you that part or not) because I am a size 16 so i'm definitely not the typical spanking model.

I found out pretty quickly that yes you will run into the occasional spanker that thinks you are too big and that is his personal choice - makes sense and i don't take offense and move on. The funny part is you also run into the guy who says you are too small for his taste - interesting feeling when you hear that one for the first time. But overall - I think most spankers that show to parties are there to enjoy and if approached are more than willing to accommodate a lady in need of a spanking.

A.S.S. said...

Hi Kimmie... first have to say congrats on such a lovely blog!

There are, without question, tops that are looking to spank only certain types of girls. Girls that fit a specific physical type. Good luck to them, but trust us... you're better off not being on their radar. Really and truly don't want a "me-me-me" spanker.

The majority of tops are *most* interested in a girl that is real. As in real honest and really into spanking. Those are the spankees that a spanker will connect with and have the most fun with. They're the tops you want... and there are a good number of them out there.

As for spanking parties... the ones we've been to have been very welcoming. The Texas All-state group is probably the top of the list... though Florida Moonshine is pretty good too. To be honest though, it really does help to network before going to a party. Get to know people that will be attending. It makes a huge difference.

It's just human nature to be cautious around someone you don't know at all. That doesn't mean unfriendly... just means it's a little harder to find play partners. If you know just a few people, it makes all the difference.

Trust us though... you'd have a good time. The people that go to these things aren't looking to be mean or cause others grief. They want to have a good time too, and most show up wanting to be social and friendly. And yea... most are 'normal' folks too.

Todd and Suzy

Anonymous said...

I want to offer some friendly advice because you said "Is it true that Tops really simply just want someone who is just as passionate about this lifestyle as they are" and this sentence set off an alarm bell in my head.

If you're looking for a partner, a serious romantic partner to fall in love with... make sure they love you for more than your kinks. I wasted a long time with a guy who loved my kinks but didn't love me.

However if you are just looking for play that wouldn't matter.

Good luck with the search in either case.


? said...

Don't look for love, look for a "playmate" somewhere along the way you may find love.

It's very hit and miss but craigslist might be one place to start.