Smoking cessation

Okay. So I've FINALLY decided to quit smoking...it finally hit me that I truly want to. I think I'm doing well by only having one every 3 hours...and that alone is KILLING me. In the next few days I'm planning on just biting the bullet and going cold turkey. That is the smartest way, really...as much as I hate to admit it. Now honestly, I had told myself I was going to have my last cigarette last night...but that didn't happen. I went to sleep around 9:30pm and then woke up at 3:00am out of nowhere, I guess because of the ear pain and lack of the amount of nicotine that my body is used to. So...of course I ended up having a cigarette. I couldn't go back to sleep, there was no one online and nobody awake here, no support...nothing to distract me.

I need all the support that I can get right now because I really don't believe that I can do this on my own. Unfortunately, there isn't anyone that I can call each and every time I need that support. Of course, I know things would be different if I had a regular person to spank me but that just isn't possible right now. ;-( The only thing that I can figure is to not buy another pack of cigarettes once this pack is gone. Then I have the problem of living with 2 smokers...that's a huge concern of mine. If I get that hideous craving for a cigarette...all I have to do is find them or one of their smokes. Earlier, when I had that cigarette, I just beat myself up inside and got very upset. Nicotine is such a horrific, disastrous, and sickening addiction. I never realized just how much of a grip it had on me until now. I've never had any drug addiction problems and I never saw cigarettes as being a drug...until now.

I need to find a mentor, someone who is an ex-smoker, to help me through this process. The only person that I can think of that has quit smoking cold turkey is my brother, Kyle. I'm pretty sure that he had smoked for about as long as I have, when he decided to quit. I emailed him last night and asked him for some tips and tricks on how he managed to stop. He's not exactly quick about getting back to me...so he's kind of an unreliable source...but maybe he'll surprise me. I love him to death. It's truly unreal how much he and I favor one another.

I have found a site that has helped me thus far and I'm going to try to visit it as much as I can. www.whyquit.com It has some amazing articles and some absolutely heart wrenching stories. I never realized how many young people could get cancer from smoking. I'll admit, I did know that cancer wasn't just for older folks...but it didn't really HIT me until now. I don't want to become one of them!!

I would appreciate and love all of the support that I can get right now. I'm sorry to sound selfish but please keep me in your thoughts.

*Kimmie*