Friends only?

Is there no way to make a post to where only friends can read it?...

*Kimmie*

Off Topic: Lonliness

I'm sorry that this is off topic but I'm feeling a bit down and I feel the need to get something off my chest.

Does anybody else ever get so lonely that they just end up listening to sad music and crying pitifully? It really seems that when I feel like this and need somebody to talk to the most, nobody is around. I realize that I am an overly sensitive and a pretty needy person but that isn't something that I want to change about myself. It's something I both love and hate about myself. There's really no specific reason I'm upset...really...I don't know. I just get to the point to where I don't think I have a hope in the world to actually find and have what I truly want. The only thing in this cruel, yet beautiful, world that I want.

Also, I am a huge fan of glasses, as you can probably tell. I have found though that they are purely annoying when crying, especially when you can barely see without them.

..."So I need you, so I need you..."

And I'm going to end with one of my favorite songs...

VNV NATION: "Illusion"

"I know it's hard to tell how mixed up you feel
Hoping what you need is behind every door
Each time you get hurt, I don't want you to change
Because everyone has hopes, you're human after all
The feeling sometimes, wishing you were someone else
Feeling as though you never belong
This feeling is not sadness, this feeling is not joy
I truly understand. Please, don't cry now

Please don't go, I want you to stay
I'm begging you please, please don't leave here
I don't want you to hate for all the hurt that you feel
The world is just illusion trying to change you

Being like you are
Well this is something else, who would comprehend?
But some that do, lay claim
Divine purpose blesses them
That's not what I believe, and it doesn't matter anyway
A part of your soul ties you to the next world
Or maybe to the last, but I'm still not sure
But what I do know, is to us the world is different
As we are to the world but I guess you would know that

Please don't go, I want you to stay
I'm begging you please, please don't leave here
I don't want you to hate for all the hurt that you feel
The world is just illusion trying to change you
Please don't go, I want you to stay
I'm begging you please, oh please don't leave here
I don't want you to change for all the hurt that you feel
This world is just illusion always trying to change you

Please don't go, I want you to stay
I'm begging you please, please don't leave here
I don't want you to hate for all the hurt that you feel
The world is just illusion trying to change you
Please don't go, I want you to stay
I'm begging you please, oh please don't leave here
I don't want you to change for all the hurt that you feel
This world is just illusion always trying to change you"

Love,
*Kimmie*

Alternative Punishments: Willingness.

Someone recently asked me to write about what kind of "alternative punishments" I would be will to try if the situation ever arose that I were not physically there with a partner (or, I guess, even if the partner were there). I'm going to try to answer that the best I can. My mind is not completely here today. :(

I'm probably weird for this but I have this problem with doing intimate things over a webcam (and sometimes camera) without FIRST meeting the person, after that I'm okay with it. I don't really know why, but it's hard for me to do. I guess it could be that they would have seen and felt me in person and know what I actually look like and who I am. *shrugs*

Yes, it certainly depends on whether or not I would do what I was told in a long distance relationship and so far I've been pretty good at doing so. I've done the whole corner time thing and I hate corner time so it does work for a time. I'm unsure about all of the different variations that there may be...I've done certain positions, like hand behind back and sticking my bottom out, or hands on head even.

I've had soap in my mouth before and I hate that and it really isn't my thing and makes me feel very sick, so that would really depend on if my partner really wanted me to do that.

Early bedtimes would not work on me at this point in my life. I have pretty bad insomnia due to racing thoughts so it would just make me very angry and I wouldn't be able to make myself do it because I'd go more insane than I already am. Maybe someday that will change.

Restrictions from computer, phone, music, etc. would work, but not for long distance relationship...I don't think. I consider grounding to be in the same category.

Punishment clothing...now I recently read Angie's blog post about that and found it to be VERY interesting and it opened up my mind a lot to the subject. I'd be very willing to try it and I think that many variations would work on me. I don't own any thongs because well, I hate them. If I were made to get some and wear them...yep that would straighten me up rather quickly.

Also, wearing clothes to sleep would drive me nuts because I can't stand having any clothing on whatsoever when I sleep. I would not get much sleep and therefore would be a good little girl from then on.

"Silent" spankings were mentioned and I would actually not mind trying that although it sounds rather painful...but hey, that's part of why we do TTWD. I'd be willing to buy something with Capsaicin in it, although I'm unsure of what products have that it in or where I would buy any. Suggestions?

A hard limit of mine are enemas, suppositories and such. I just...won't do it right now. I'm willing to try anything one but...I just don't know.

Written punishments would certainly work on me because repetitive writing drives me nuts most of the time. I'm so used to typing now, heh. So, any variation of the sort would be considered a good punishment (or part of one).

Clothespins are another thing that works on me. The sensation those cause when I'm not, in the mood, is very intense and incredibly painful.

Okay, my brain is overwhelmed at the moment. I'm sorry this post is so short.

<3 *Kimmie*

Alernative Punishments

Now most people include spanking and corner time in their punishments, if they're in a DD relationship. I'm wondering what other alternatives there may be to that? I'm in a "sort-of" long distance "relationship (I guess)" so even alternatives for those dealing with someone from afar. So I'm asking for both 'in real life' and in distance relationships.

If any of you are in, or have been in, a similar situation, or even if you know someone who has been. I'd love to hear your opinions.

*For rain that's fallen halfway down the sky, I apologize, for sunlight burning holes into your eyes, I apologize...*

Hello all,

I just wanted to write and apologize for my very long absence from the web of spanking. My excuses are as follows: I've had several medical problems, I became extremely depressed and had panic attacks, and I've been working on getting back into school. As far as the school thing goes, I should graduate or at least walk in December. Depending on scheduling and Financial Aid is when I will know for sure what I have to do. They accepted my appeal after they denied me but said that I had to follow Federal guidelines...and I don't understand any of it. Wish me luck.

As far as the spanking scene...I'm still into it; very much so. I haven't actually been spanked in forever though. I found, a while back, www.spankingtube.com and I like it. That and Spankolife; as well. I kinda really like someone right now but I am not sure what he thinks, so I'm just trying to stay cool about it all.

I still have a lot of goals that I need to accomplish, it annoys me that I can't seem to do them on my own. Hopefully I will graduate and then I can say I did that on my own. Here's hoping anyways. Dang me and my negative thinking.

Feel free to suggest subject for me to write about, I'd love anybody's imput.

Again, I am very sorry for disappearing, and no I can't promise it won't happen again...but I hope that I don't.

I hope everyone is doing well and having lots of spanking good fun! ;-)

*Kimmie*