My Oh My

My oh my, it's been a very long while since I last posted. It's been almost a year since I quit smoking! I've made some spanking videos with Malachi. We're getting married in a little over 2 months, so I've been busy planning that which has been a bit stressful. It's a Celtic themed wedding with men in kilts and me in a Medieval/Celtic style dress. We are planning on attending TASSP for our honeymoon and are very excited (and I'm nervous) about that! I've found out recently that I have some disturbing health problems but I'm getting them taken care of, both mentally and physically. He's helping me become a stronger person and I'm very appreciative of that. Overall things are alright, I'm trying to stay positive, and I hope everything is well with all of you too. <3

Screams of an emotionally disturbed girl.

I just want to let it all out, scream it all out, bleed it all out. I just want you to feel what I feel, see what I see, hear the awful things that I do. I do...

Normalcy is a dream of mine but it's one step forward and ten steps back...ten huge steps! Strength is welcomed, please come to me, I beg you. I don't want to regret my entire life...

Google+

Anybody want an invite to Google+? Leave me your email address and I'll send you an invite :)

Missing you!

Just a quick hello to all of you. M and I are doing well and I miss this blog and all of you dearly. I hope to start posting more often...well, more often than not at all. :P Hope everyone has been having a spanking good time! Looove to all!

Control Issues

My fiance (Oh, yes! I'm engaged!) has brought to my attention that I have a major issue with control. I try to control anything and everything around me. I always knew I did...but it didn't truly hit me until he sat me down and told me. I get very upset and moody when I can't control a situation. I think this is the reason I get angry sometimes when I'm being spanked, even when I want to be spanked! It's ridiculous, yet I still can't completely just let go. When receiving a spanking it always seems to go from anger (from the fact that I feel like I can not take the pain so I get angry at myself and take it out on others sometimes...) to laughing when the endorphins kick in. It has been pointed out to me that it can be quite distracting in videos. I need to find a way to overcome this. Anyways, I'm a bit distracted at the moment so I'll be back later, perhaps.

Love to all!

*Kimmie*